Tuesday, Mar 05

  • 5:00 am ET
    Meter Made
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DSV)
  • 5:30 am ET
    Dope and Faith
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 6:00 am ET
    Big Trouble in Little Langley
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 6:30 am ET
    Haylias
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DV)
  • 7:00 am ET
    42-Year-Old Virgin
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Surro-Gate
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 8:00 am ET
    Franny 911
    American Dad
    TV-14 (L)
  • 8:30 am ET
    Tearjerker
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DSV)
  • 9:00 am ET
    A Thought in the Dark
    Family Matters
    Laura and Ted pair Steve up on a date with Myra, nearly causing Steve to forget his eternal love for Laura.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Tender Kisses
    Family Matters
    When Eddie can't get tickets to the big Tracie Spencer concert, he sneaks into Tracie's hotel room to meet her.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Heart Strings
    Family Matters
    Valentine's Day brings romance to the Winslow home as Laura agrees to be Steve's valentine, and Gwenolyn tries to convince Richie to be her valentine.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Higher Anxiety
    Family Matters
    At a party, Urkel, Eddie and Waldo get trapped on a fire escape.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Mama's Wedding
    Family Matters
    Carl Winslow gives Mother Winslow and Fletcher a huge wedding, which gets even bigger when hundreds of Eddie's friends arrive by mistake.
    TV-G
  • 11:30 am ET
    Pulling Teeth
    Family Matters
    When Laura's best friend, Maxine, ends her relationship with her boyfriend, Laura, Steve, Eddie, and Waldo all help get Maxine and Waldo together for a date.
    TV-G
  • 12:00 pm ET
    A Second Prodigy and the Hottest Tips for Pouty Lips
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon finds himself at odds with Paige once again when she considers enrolling at East Texas Tech. Meanwhile, Mary seeks the advice of June when looking for a change.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A Black Hole
    Young Sheldon
    The Coopers discuss the possibilities of black holes and alternate universes when Dr. Sturgis comes over for dinner.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The Wild and Woolly World of Nonlinear Dynamics
    Young Sheldon
    In the fourth season finale, Missy's first heartbreak triggers a series of events that lead the Cooper family to the brink.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    One Bad Night and a Chaos of Selfish Desires
    Young Sheldon
    In the fifth season premiere episode, Sheldon and Missy both run away from home, while Mary gets some upsetting news about her husband, George.
    TV-PG
  • 2:00 pm ET
    Snoopin' Around and the Wonder Twins of Atheism
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon encourages Missy to question the Bible. Also, Meemaw is determined to catch George Sr. in a lie, and Mary helps Pastor Jeff search for a youth pastor.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    Potential Energy and Hooch on a Park Bench
    Young Sheldon
    While Sheldon tries to convince Dr. Sturgis to return to the university, Georgie upsets the family when he makes a life-changing decision.
    TV-PG
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One in Vegas: Part 1
    Friends
    The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One in Vegas: Part 2
    Friends
    Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One After Vegas
    Friends
    Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with Ross' Denial
    Friends
    Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance
    Friends
    Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.
    TV-PG
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with Joey's Porsche
    Friends
    Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One on the Last Night
    Friends
    The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One Where Phoebe Runs
    Friends
    Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate.
    TV-PG
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One with Ross's Teeth
    Friends
    The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One Where Ross Got High
    Friends
    On Thanksgiving, Chandler tries to gain favor with Monica's parents but an old secret involving Ross causes problems. Undomestic Rachel's dessert proves intriguing.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The One with the Routine
    Friends
    Joey plots the perfect opportunity to kiss Janine. Ross and Monica resurrect their dorky high school dance routine for a television special.
    TV-PG
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The One with the Apothecary Table
    Friends
    Joey finally dates Janine but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment.
    TV-PG
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Geology Methodology
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Bert collaborate on a research project, despite Sheldon's embarrassment. Penny and Bernadette coach Koothrappali on how to navigate his relationship with Ruchi.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Tesla Recoil
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard and Howard are furious after they learn Sheldon went to work with the military behind their backs. Bernadette is on bed rest, and she asks Raj to do some digging when she suspects Ruchi is trying to steal her job.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Bitcoin Entanglement
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon tries to teach the guys a lesson after they cut him out of a potentially valuable Bitcoin investment. Also, a seven-year-old video reveals a secret about Leonard and Penny's relationship.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Confidence Erosion
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy try to eliminate stress from wedding planning by applying math to the process. Raj "breaks up" with Howard after realizing his best friend is actually hurting his confidence.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Celebration Reverberation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Howard plan birthday celebrations for Amy and Halley, respectively. Leonard receives a Christmas letter from his brother that causes him to spiral out about his own lack of accomplishments.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Matrimonial Metric
    The Big Bang Theory
    To discover who would be most qualified to be best man and maid of honor at their wedding, Sheldon and Amy subject their friends to a series of secret experiments. Also, Penny reveals her true feelings about Amy.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Solo Oscillation
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Sheldon kicks Amy out to work solo, she and Leonard bond during a series of science experiments. Bert replaces Howard in the band Footprints on the Moon, and Sheldon finds Penny a surprising source of scientific inspiration.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Separation Triangulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Raj learns the woman he's dating has a very upset husband. Sheldon rents his old room for a quiet place to work.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Novelization Correlation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon petitions Wil Wheaton to appear on the new "Professor Proton Show", but Wil offers a role to Amy instead. Penny gets angry when she thinks the female protagonist in Leonard's novel is based on her.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Neonatal Nomenclature
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Bernadette won't go in labor, all her friends try different tactics to get things started. Howard confronts Bernadette after Amy accidentally reveals she's already chosen their son's name.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Athenaeum Allocation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard jumps through hoops to help secure the perfect wedding venue for Sheldon and Amy. Bernadette and Howard have a hard time deciding who should stay home with the kids and who should go back to work.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:30 am ET
    The Gates Excitation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny gets the opportunity to host Bill Gates at work when his company wants to partner with her pharmaceutical company. Leonard, Raj and Howard do everything in their power to meet him, while Sheldon thinks he is the victim of an April Fools' prank.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 3:00 am ET
    The Tenant Disassociation
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Leonard learns Sheldon is the president of the tenants association, he decides to run against him. Bernadette encourages Howard and Raj to find the owner of a drone after they find it in the backyard.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:30 am ET
    The Reclusive Potential
    The Big Bang Theory
    Reclusive scientist, Doctor Wolcott, invites Sheldon to his cabin in the middle of nowhere, and Leonard, Raj and Howard go along. Penny and Bernadette improvise after Amy doesn't like the tame bachelorette party they planned for her.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 4:00 am ET
    A Chili Cooking Turtle
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Actor Jon Hamm stops by for a quick visit with his pet turtle, sharing a meal with Sarah. Then, Sarah meets a basketball playing dog, a pig who believes they're a canine, and a heavyweight champion of the world ... Wallaby?
    TV-14
  • 4:30 am ET
    Kiss and Tell
    Modern Family
    Haley needs a little help deciding whether or not to tell Arvin about her kiss with Dylan and goes to Mitch and Cam for their advice. Meanwhile, Gloria suspects Manny's Canadian girlfriend is made up and wants to find out the real truth.
    TV-PG (DL)
Wednesday, Mar 06

  • 5:00 am ET
    A Sketchy Area
    Modern Family
    Phil stumbles into a new career after dropping by Luke's college, while Claire deals with the merger of Pritchett's Closets with a hipper company. Meanwhile, Mitch's new high-profile case as an assistant DA is marred by an unflattering courtroom sketch.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 5:30 am ET
    Torn Between Two Lovers
    Modern Family
    Haley can't seem to choose between her past and present relationships and is forced to make a decision. Meanwhile, Manny returns to college life while his girlfriend, Sherry, continues to stay at Jay and Gloria's, where she is overstaying her welcome.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 6:00 am ET
    Good Grief
    Modern Family
    It's another epic Halloween full of costumes, tricks and treats for the Dunphy-Pritchett-Tucker clan as they deal with huge, unexpected news.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 6:30 am ET
    On the Same Paige
    Modern Family
    Phil learns that his real estate class will be cancelled if any more students drop it. So, he turns on his powers of flattery to keep one student, Paige, from leaving. Meanwhile, Jay may unknowingly be flirting with the mother of Joe's classmate.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
    Modern Family
    Cam decides he needs to reconnect with his roots and get a chicken. Meanwhile, when Alex is up for a government job that requires a family interview, everyone overcompensates and jeopardizes her chances; and Haley and Dylan think it's time they grew up.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Kids These Days
    Modern Family
    Haley needs advice from Claire as she considers her future with Dylan and her career. Meanwhile, Jay and Cam's coaching style earns them a class on sensitivity from Manny and Phil; and Mitch runs into Phil's nemesis, Gil, at an unlikely place.
    TV-14
  • 8:00 am ET
    Putting Down Roots
    Modern Family
    Dede's husband, Jerry, comes to town to bequeath her possessions to the family. Mitch and Claire receive a little more of Dede than they know what to do with, and Jay and Gloria feel sorry for Jerry and invite him to stay with them while he is in town.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 am ET
    Stuck in a Moment
    Modern Family
    Hayley wants to give the family a Christmas gift they will never forget. Meanwhile, Claire is mad that Phil has once again borrowed the family Christmas tree for a house-showing; and Jay, Gloria and Joe have to deal with some unwelcome visitors.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 9:00 am ET
    A Moving Day
    Modern Family
    Claire and Phil aren't convinced that Haley and Dylan can make it on their own as they move them into their new apartment before the baby arrives. Meanwhile, Pameron gets out of prison early and has a bone to pick with Mitchell.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:30 am ET
    Walk on the Wild Side
    Family Matters
    When Laura sneaks into a male strip club, Steve learns Harriette is going as well and he tries to warn Laura.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Hot Stuff
    Family Matters
    Laura successfully gets Steve romantically interested in Myra. Eddie buys a new car stereo system and realizes that he got a good price because the equipment is stolen.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Stormy Weather
    Family Matters
    Laura attends the Junior Prom with Jimmy who forbids her to speak to her intellectual friend, Steve. When Steve arrives at the prom with a gorgeous girl, Myra, all the students are shocked!
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Buds 'n' Buns
    Family Matters
    Carl takes an extra job at a hot dog restaurant, working with his son, Eddie. Eddie gets promoted and becomes his dad's boss. When Steve stops annoying Laura, she misses his friendship.
    TV-G
  • 11:30 am ET
    Hell Toupee
    Family Matters
    Carl buys a toupee after enduring one too many jokes from his wife, Harriette. Steve tries to end the interminable bickering between Laura and his new girlfriend, Myra.
    TV-G
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Pish Posh and a Secret Back Room
    Young Sheldon
    While Meemaw opens a secret gambling room, Sheldon, Missy and Georgie adapt to new living arrangements.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    Stuffed Animals and a Sweet Southern Syzygy
    Young Sheldon
    While Mary's away, George finds himself giving advice on Missy's love life. And Georgie has a solution for Meemaw's business woes.
    TV-14
  • 1:00 pm ET
    Money Laundering and a Cascade of Hormones
    Young Sheldon
    Missy asks some uncomfortable questions about sex in church.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon takes his first engineering class with Professor Boucher. Also, Meemaw and Dale help take care of his ex-wife, June.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The Grand Chancellor and a Den of Sin
    Young Sheldon
    While Sheldon battles the mysterious Grand Chancellor of the university over science requirements, Mary discovers that Georgie is working at Meemaw's illegal gambling room.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The Yips and an Oddly Hypnotic Bohemian
    Young Sheldon
    While George Sr. plays handyman at Brenda Sparks' house, Sheldon gets the science yips and has to learn how not to think.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Joke
    Friends
    Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Sister
    Friends
    Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill, find independence but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One Where Chandler Can't Cry
    Friends
    Rachel's sister Jill wants Ross but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography?
    TV-PG (D)
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One That Could Have Been: Part 1
    Friends
    The friends fantasize Rachel and Ross are in respective loveless marriages. Monica is an overweight virgin. Poor Chandler works for television star Joey, and Phoebe is an overstressed stockbroker.
    TV-14
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One That Could Have Been: Part 2
    Friends
    In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol. Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness, Rachel learns the truth about her husband and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.
    TV-14
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with Unagi
    Friends
    Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One Where Ross Dates a Student
    Friends
    When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with Joey's Fridge
    Friends
    Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One with Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
    Friends
    Primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role but Chandler almost ruins everything.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeth's Dad
    Friends
    Ross is nervous about meeting Paul, Elizabeth's dad, and invites the gang to the coffeehouse for moral support.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The One Where Paul's the Man
    Friends
    Elizabeth and Ross decide to hide their relationship from her father and head up to his cabin for the weekend.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The One with the Ring
    Friends
    Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica.
    TV-PG
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Comet Polarization
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon's comic book store experience changes when writer Neil Gaiman puts Stuart's store on the map. Raj takes credit for Penny's astronomical discovery, and friendships are threatened.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Monetary Insufficiency
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon goes to Vegas to win money for science. Penny and Bernadette take Amy wedding dress shopping, but her terrible choice entangles them in a web of lies.
    TV-PG
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Sibling Realignment
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Sheldon learns that his mother won't attend his wedding unless he invites his brother, George, he and Leonard travel to Texas to end a family feud. The Wolowitz kids inadvertently infest Amy, Bernadette, Howard and Raj with pinkeye.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Bow Tie Asymmetry
    The Big Bang Theory
    In the Season 11 finale, when Amy's parents and Sheldon's family arrive for the wedding, everybody is focused on making sure all goes according to plan -- everyone except the bride and groom.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Conjugal Configuration
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy's honeymoon runs aground in New York, while Penny and Leonard discover they are uncomfortably similar to Amy's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Fowler. Raj insults physicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and starts a twitter war.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Wedding Gift Wormhole
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what "perfect gift" Leonard and Penny gave them for their wedding. Raj decides he wants to settle down and asks his father to arrange a marriage for him.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Procreation Calculation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard's life gets complicated when Stuart starts bringing his new girlfriend home. Penny and Leonard talk about starting a family while Raj explores an arranged marriage.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Tam Turbulence
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon won't tell anyone why he's never mentioned Tam, his childhood best friend, so Leonard takes matters into his own hands. Bernadette and Penny take out Raj's fiance, Anu, for dinner to get the skinny on her.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:00 am ET
    Ep. 231 - Dynamite 3/6/2024
    All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite
    The fallout from AEW Revolution. The EVPs Matthew & Nicholas Jackson will speak live. What's next for AEW World Champion Samoa Joe?
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Blasts from the Past
    Modern Family
    Phil and Claire decide to take a cycling tour through Italy before they become grandparents, and Dylan introduces them to his mom. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell discover interesting reading material in Lily's room and decide to confront her about it.
    TV-14
  • 3:30 am ET
    Whanex?
    Modern Family
    While preparing a presentation for his students, Cam also contends with a bully at the school, and Jay has technical trouble during his video conference. Meanwhile, the mall is holding a photo shoot, and Gloria tricks Phil and Joe into participating.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 4:00 am ET
    We Need to Talk About Lily
    Modern Family
    Phil may have conquered his biggest real estate challenge when he thinks he found Pepper his dream home. Meanwhile, in an attempt to connect with Lily, Mitch and Cam get invited to an exclusive event for her favorite vlogger.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 4:30 am ET
    Supershowerbabybowl
    Modern Family
    Jay is hosting a Super Bowl party, and Claire is hosting a baby shower for Haley -- both at Jay's house. What could go wrong?
    TV-PG (L)
Thursday, Mar 07

  • 5:00 am ET
    Red Alert
    Modern Family
    Lily has reached a womanly milestone that Cam and Mitch are not prepared for -- at all -- so they call in reinforcements.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 5:30 am ET
    The Wild
    Modern Family
    Mitch, Cam and Phil crash Jay's annual hiking trip to find an elusive bald eagle after Gloria asks them to keep an eye on him. Meanwhile, Gloria, Alex, Claire and Haley get together to plan her baby shower.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 6:00 am ET
    Stand By Your Man
    Modern Family
    Dylan and Luke are really impressed with Bill's tales of heroism and survival as a firefighter, which make Phil feel emasculated. To impress the guys, he invites them over for a little male-bonding moment that goes terribly wrong.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 6:30 am ET
    Yes-Woman
    Modern Family
    Claire is rebranding herself as the girl who says "yes" and inadvertently approves of Luke's new relationship with someone from his work. Meanwhile, Phil tries to surprise Alex at school right before she receives an award she didn't tell him about.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Can't Elope
    Modern Family
    Haley and Dylan's plan to quietly elope before the babies are born doesn't go as smoothly as they had hoped. Meanwhile, Jay continues to try and get his new business off the ground by courting an Instagram celebrity.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Commencement
    Modern Family
    Cam gets a chance to shine when he is asked to preside over the high school graduation ceremony at the last minute, while Jay gives the commencement address. Meanwhile, Claire runs into her former high school rival who brings out the worst in her.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:00 am ET
    A Year of Birthdays
    Modern Family
    As the birth of Haley and Dylan's twins approaches, we take a look back at how each family member celebrated their birthdays this past year.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 am ET
    New Kids On The Block
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:00 am ET
    It Didn't Happen One Night
    Family Matters
    Laura and Steve share a motel room for the night when Steve's car breaks down on the way to a cheerleading competition.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Saved by the Urkel
    Family Matters
    After Steve saves Carl's life, Carl and his family feel obligated to be nice to him.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    A Matter of Principle
    Family Matters
    When Harriette's boss asks her to discharge part of her staff, Carl encourages her to refuse.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Money out the Window
    Family Matters
    Eddie bets on football games and steals a stamp from his father's collection to pay his gambling debts. Laura works two jobs to buy a car.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Best Friends
    Family Matters
    Eddie hires his good friend, Waldo, to work at Mighty Weenie and then considers discharging Waldo because he's horrible at the job. Laura is embarrassed by her mother.
    TV-G
  • 11:30 am ET
    Grandmama
    Family Matters
    Eddie agrees to be Steve's partner in a basketball tournament but then finds a better partner. Steve pairs up with an old lady, Grandmama.
    TV-G
  • 12:00 pm ET
    An Expensive Glitch and a Goof-Off Room
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon gets a dorm room all to himself, which soon becomes the campus hotspot. Meanwhile, Meemaw gets an unwanted business partner.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A Lock-In, a Weather Girl and a Disgusting Habit
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon acts as Mary's spy when he's forced to spend the night at church for a youth lock-in. Meanwhile, Georgie finds himself attracted to an older woman.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    A Pink Cadillac and a Glorious Tribal Dance
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon attends his first comic book convention, and Mary tries selling make-up.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    A Lot of Band-Aids and the Cooper Surrender
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon makes friends with his dorm neighbors. Meanwhile, George Sr. learns his job is in jeopardy.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    A Free Scratcher and Feminine Wiles
    Young Sheldon
    When a new scientist joins the lab, Sheldon is the odd man out. Meanwhile, Mary is given a lotto ticket.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    A Lobster, an Armadillo and a Way Bigger Number
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon joins Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis on a science road trip, which lands them in the middle of nowhere. Meanwhile, Georgie continues to lie about his age.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Proposal: Part 1
    Friends
    Chandler plans to propose to Monica.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with Monica's Thunder
    Friends
    Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with Phoebe's Cookies
    Friends
    Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Assistant
    Friends
    Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Book
    Friends
    Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Engagement Picture
    Friends
    Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with the Nap Partners
    Friends
    Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with Ross' Library Book
    Friends
    Chandler's former girlfriend manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
    Friends
    Chandler's irrational fear causes problems when Phoebe brings home a cute dog. Rachel's assistant gives her a Thanksgiving surprise.
    TV-PG
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One with All the Candy
    Friends
    Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant. Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The One with the Holiday Armadillo
    Friends
    Ross teaches Ben about Chanukah. Phoebe worries that Rachel prefers living with Joey.
    TV-PG
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The One with All the Cheesecakes
    Friends
    Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Planetarium Collision
    The Big Bang Theory
    Amy doesn't have time to work on a project, so Sheldon goes to great lengths to ensure she can work with him even if it means sabotaging her career in the process. Raj doesn't want Howard to join him in hosting a show at the planetarium.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Imitation Perturbation
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Howard dresses up as Sheldon for Halloween, Sheldon seeks retaliation at Leonard and Penny's Halloween Party. Leonard is shocked that Penny doesn't remember their first kiss.
    TV-PG
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Grant Allocation Derivation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard is caught between a rock and a hard place when he's responsible for distributing extra grant money. Bernadette turns the backyard playhouse into a hideaway from her husband and kids.
    TV-PG
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Consummation Deviation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon tries to bond with Amy's father, but when Howard lures Mr. Fowler away with magic tricks, Sheldon has no choice but to bond with Mrs. Fowler. Raj and Anu try to get physical for the first time.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Citation Negation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy are devastated learning from a Russian paper that Super Asymmetry has been discovered and disproven. Ultra-competitive Bernadette asks Stuart's girlfriend, Denise, to teach her how to beat Howard in a popular videogame.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The VCR Illumination
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy are still down about their theory being disproven, but a VHS tape from Sheldon's past inspires him not to give up. Bernadette turns into a pageant mom when she tries to help Howard ace his Magic Castle audition.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Paintball Scattering
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny and Leonard organize a paintball game that results in mayhem when Sheldon is jealous of Amy. Raj catches Anu with her ex-boyfriend, and Stuart doesn't want to move in with Denise.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Propagation Proposition
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny's ex-boyfriend, Zack, and his wife want a baby, but when Zack is infertile, they ask Leonard to help. Raj attempts to mend things with his ex-fianc?e, Anu.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Confirmation Polarization
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy's super asymmetry theory is proven by two physicists, Dr. Pemberton and Dr. Campbell from Chicago, who then try to kick Amy off the Nobel nomination. Bernadette has a big success at work, and Penny's going to be a part of it.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Meteorite Manifestation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon is thrilled to help Bernadette and Howard navigate bureaucratic paperwork, until he discovers they are breaking the law. Leonard is disappointed when his friends exclude him from a scientific project.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Donation Oscillation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny tries to seduce an abstaining Leonard to ruin his "donation" for her ex-boyfriend, Zack, and his wife, Marissa. Howard, Bernadette, Anu and Raj turn Raj's canceled bachelor party into a couple's trip aboard the "vomit comet."
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:30 am ET
    The D & D Vortex
    The Big Bang Theory
    The gang finds out Wil Wheaton hosts a celebrity Dungeons and Dragons game involving William Shatner, Joe Manganiello, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Kevin Smith. Deception and betrayal are the path to make it to the one open seat.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 3:00 am ET
    ALF
    Impractical Jokers
    Four longtime friends compete to embarrass each other with a series of hilarious dares. If they refuse, they lose. At the end, the big loser must endure an epic punishment.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 3:30 am ET
    Michael Ian Black
    Impractical Jokers
    Three comedians and lifelong friends compete to embarrass each other amongst the general public with a series of hilarious and outrageous dares.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 4:00 am ET
    Bad Moms
    Amy has a seemingly perfect life, but she's exhausted to the point that she's about to snap. Fed up, she joins forces with two other over-stressed moms, and they go on a quest to liberate themselves from conventional responsibilities.
    TV-14 (DLS)
Friday, Mar 08

  • 6:00 am ET
    Life of the Party
    When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college ... landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who's not entirely sold on the idea.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 8:00 am ET
    Snapped
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 8:30 am ET
    Perfect Pairs
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (D)
  • 9:00 am ET
    Aunt Oona
    Family Matters
    Steve's dowdy Aunt Oona visits and, with Harriette's help, becomes confident enough to win a singing competition.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool
    Family Matters
    When Laura tells Steve to be less annoying, he creates a potion that transforms him into a suave, charming man. But his new attitude soon causes more problems than it solves.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Car Wars
    Family Matters
    Laura encounters sexism while shopping for a used car, but she uses the salesman's sexist attitudes against him to negotiate a good price for a car.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    All the Wrong Moves
    Family Matters
    Hariette makes Carl pay her for her housework to teach him a lesson. Steve and Laura have problems with their dates at a drive-in movie.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    The One with the Lesbian Wedding
    Friends
    Carol and Susan prepare for their wedding with some help from an uncomfortable Ross.
    TV-PG
  • 11:30 am ET
    The One Where Eddie Won't Go
    Friends
    Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out. Joey's exorbitant bills come due. The women learn from a book about personal empowerment.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 pm ET
    The One with the Girl from Poughkeepsie
    Friends
    Ross struggles to maintain a long-distance relationship. Chandler tries to get a date for Rachel. Monica schemes to establish authority at her new restaurant job.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    The One with the Embryos
    Friends
    Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The One with the Proposal: Part 2
    Friends
    Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Tells...
    Friends
    The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed. Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work
    Friends
    Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement at the shop. Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    Pitch Perfect 3
    After winning the World Championships, the Bellas find themselves split apart and discovering there aren't any job prospects for making music. With a chance to reunite, this group of awesome nerds come together to make music one last time.
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 4:30 pm ET
    Bad Moms
    Amy has a seemingly perfect life, but she's exhausted to the point that she's about to snap. Fed up, she joins forces with two other over-stressed moms, and they go on a quest to liberate themselves from conventional responsibilities.
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    Life of the Party
    When her husband suddenly dumps her, longtime dedicated housewife Deanna turns regret into re-set by going back to college ... landing in the same class and school as her daughter, who's not entirely sold on the idea.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    Pitch Perfect 3
    After winning the World Championships, the Bellas find themselves split apart and discovering there aren't any job prospects for making music. With a chance to reunite, this group of awesome nerds come together to make music one last time.
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    Girls Trip
    Four college friends reunite for a wild celebration of sisterhood when they travel to New Orleans for the annual Essence Festival.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 1:00 am ET
    Ride Along 2
    Not content to work as a beat cop, Ben, a recent academy graduate, now aspires to be a detective like his soon-to-be brother-in-law. However, James still doesn't think that he has what it takes for the job.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 2:54 am ET
    Fist Fight
    Fired from his teaching job for losing his cool, a disgruntled man challenges the colleague who snitched on him to a fight after school.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 4:54 am ET
    Girls Trip
    Four college friends reunite for a wild celebration of sisterhood when they travel to New Orleans for the annual Essence Festival.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
Saturday, Mar 09

  • 7:42 am ET
    Office Christmas Party
    A corporate man joins forces with his Chief Technical Officer and co-workers to host an epic Christmas party in an effort to impress a potential client and close a sale in order to save their jobs.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 10:00 am ET
    Pool Party
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 am ET
    The Last Halloween
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:00 am ET
    A Game Of Chicken
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:30 am ET
    The Last Thanksgiving
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Tree's A Crowd
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    The Last Christmas
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (D)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The One Where They're Up All Night
    Friends
    Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag. Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    The One Where Rosita Dies
    Friends
    Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker. Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where They All Turn Thirty
    Friends
    Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.
    TV-PG
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with Joey's New Brain
    Friends
    Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star. Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Truth About London
    Friends
    Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben practical jokes.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with the Cheap Wedding Dress
    Friends
    Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    Office Christmas Party
    A corporate man joins forces with his Chief Technical Officer and co-workers to host an epic Christmas party in an effort to impress a potential client and close a sale in order to save their jobs.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 6:15 pm ET
    Fist Fight
    Fired from his teaching job for losing his cool, a disgruntled man challenges the colleague who snitched on him to a fight after school.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 8:00 pm ET
    Ride Along 2
    Not content to work as a beat cop, Ben, a recent academy graduate, now aspires to be a detective like his soon-to-be brother-in-law. However, James still doesn't think that he has what it takes for the job.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Inspiration Deprivation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Amy has a meltdown due to the pressure associated with winning a Nobel Prize. Raj and Howard try to relive the good old days after Howard buys a scooter that looks like the one he had years ago.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Decision Reverberation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Raj is worried people won't take him seriously in his own field after publishing a paper that suggests he may have discovered alien life. Leonard wants to be the principal investigator on a plasma physics study.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Plagiarism Schism
    The Big Bang Theory
    Kripke has proof that Dr. Pemberton plagiarized his thesis, and Sheldon and Amy aren't sure whether they should turn him in or not. Howard is surprised to learn that Bernie wasn't the only waitress at the Cheesecake Factory who had a crush on him.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Maternal Conclusion
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard is pleasantly surprised when Beverly comes to visit and she's genuinely kind to him, until he finds out the real reason she's there. Denise and Stuart overstay their welcome at the Wolowitz house.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Change Constant
    The Big Bang Theory
    Amy and Sheldon wait for the news. Howard and Bernadette leave their kids. Leonard and Penny keep a secret.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Stockholm Syndrome
    The Big Bang Theory
    Bernadette and Howard leave their kids for the first time, Penny and Leonard try to keep a secret, Sheldon and Amy stick together, and Raj makes a new friend as the gang travels together into an uncharted future.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    Pilot
    The Big Bang Theory
    Brilliant physicist roommates Leonard and Sheldon meet their new neighbor Penny, who begins showing them that as much as they know about science, they know little about actual living.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Big Bran Hypothesis
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard volunteers to sign for a package in an attempt to make a good impression on Penny, but when he enlists Sheldon for help, his attempt at chivalry goes terribly awry.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard asks a work colleague out after he finds out Penny is seeing someone.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 2:30 am ET
    ALF
    Impractical Jokers
    Four longtime friends compete to embarrass each other with a series of hilarious dares. If they refuse, they lose. At the end, the big loser must endure an epic punishment.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Ant-Man and the Wasp
    TV-14 (DLV)
Sunday, Mar 10

  • 5:30 am ET
    An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football
    Young Sheldon
    George Sr. is asked to help with the football team. Mandy discovers Georgie and Meemaw's secret business.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 am ET
    A Tougher Nut and a Note on File
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's search for a comic book leads him to a breakthrough. Also, Georgie and Mandy have an uncomfortable first encounter with her parents, Jim and Audrey.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 am ET
    Legalese and a Whole Hoo-Ha
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's database invention puts him at odds with the university. Also, the church takes issue with Meemaw's video store.
    TV-PG
  • 7:00 am ET
    X-Men: Apocalypse
    TV-14 (LV)
  • 10:00 am ET
    Legacy
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (D)
  • 10:30 am ET
    Dead On A Rival
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:00 am ET
    Paris
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (D)
  • 11:30 am ET
    Spuds
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Baby Steps
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    The One with Joey's Award
    Friends
    Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The One with Ross & Monica's Cousin
    Friends
    Monica's gorgeous cousin unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Big Kiss
    Friends
    Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister. Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One with the Vows
    Friends
    As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with Chandler's Dad
    Friends
    Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father. Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding: Part 1
    Friends
    On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding: Part 2
    Friends
    Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    Ant-Man and the Wasp
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Luminous Fish Effect
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon's getting fired forces him to explore what life has to offer outside physics, leaving Leonard to take drastic action to snap his friend out of his funk.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Hamburger Postulate
    The Big Bang Theory
    Fearing he's wasting his time on Penny, Leonard ends up making a connection with Leslie. Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over a change to his hamburger routine.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Middle Earth Paradigm
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Dumpling Paradox
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Wolowitz goes AWOL with one of her friends, Penny's recruited to fill in for him on the guys' Halo team.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Grasshopper Experiment
    The Big Bang Theory
    Raj's parents set him up on a blind date, and when he discovers he can talk to her, she shows interest in Sheldon.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
    The Big Bang Theory
    When they're invited to present at a physics conference, Sheldon's reluctance to share the credit leads to a tiff between him and Leonard, and Penny's intervention only exacerbates the situation.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Loobenfeld Decay
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard and Sheldon each lie to avoid hearing Penny sing in a production of Rent. However, Sheldon's lie becomes a bit too complicated for its own good.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Pancake Batter Anomaly
    The Big Bang Theory
    With his friends knowing how sour he acts when sick and avoiding him as a result, Sheldon is nursed by Penny, who hasn't a clue what she's in for.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Jerusalem Duality
    The Big Bang Theory
    With Sheldon rattled and impossible to be around after meeting Dennis, a 15-year-old physicist who's smarter than he, the rest of the guys search for a way to eliminate the threat.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Bat Jar Conjecture
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon finds himself booted from the gang's Physics Bowl team and replaced with Leslie, so he forms his own team hoping to prove he's superior.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Nerdvana Annihilation
    The Big Bang Theory
    When the delivery of a full-size prop of 1960's "The Time Machine" causes Penny to miss work, she scolds Leonard about his sci-fi collectibles. He decides it's time to give up such childish pursuits.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 2:30 am ET
    Michael Ian Black
    Impractical Jokers
    Three comedians and lifelong friends compete to embarrass each other amongst the general public with a series of hilarious and outrageous dares.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
    TV-14 (DLV)
Monday, Mar 11

  • 5:30 am ET
    The Legend Of Tarzan
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 7:45 am ET
    Jason Bourne
    Bourne is back! Matt Damon returns as the amnesiac ex-CIA assassin who has been living off the grid for a decade. Drawn back into the open by hacked documents that reveal the truth about his forgotten past, the ever-lethal Bourne finds himself hunted.
    TV-14 (LV)
  • 10:00 am ET
    Christmas Is Where the Heart Is
    Family Matters
    Carl tearns the true meaning of Christmas aboard a stranded train as Steve attempts to cheer the miserable passengers.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Scenes From a Mall
    Family Matters
    The shopping mall is the meeting place for a battle between the sexes as the Winslow children and their friends converge.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    A Suitcase Full of Cash and a Yellow Clown Car
    Young Sheldon
    When Meemaw's gambling room is a success, she finds herself with a suitcase of illegal cash. Meanwhile, Missy starts a business and Sheldon dips his toe in the stock market.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:30 am ET
    A Solo Peanut, a Social Butterfly and the Truth
    Young Sheldon
    In the 100th episode, Sheldon gets an odd request from an old friend, while George and Mary are caught in the middle of Meemaw and Dale's breakup, and Georgie comes clean to Mandy.
    TV-14
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Babies, Lies and a Resplendent Cannoli
    Young Sheldon
    While Sheldon copes with the death of a hero, Georgie struggles with his big secret, and Missy wants to babysit.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A God-Fearin' Baptist and a Hot Trophy Husband
    Young Sheldon
    George and Mary insist on meeting the new woman in Georgie's life, while Sheldon and Missy have suspicions about what's going on with their family.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    Uncle Sheldon and a Hormonal Firecracker
    Young Sheldon
    Despite the whole family trying to keep it a secret, Sheldon and Missy learn about Georgie's pregnancy.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    White Trash, Holy Rollers and Punching People
    Young Sheldon
    With the Coopers facing judgement from the congregation in the wake of Georgie's pregnancy, Sheldon is distracted by the family drama, while Missy stands up for her brother.
    TV-PG (DLV)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One After I Do
    Friends
    The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.
    TV-PG
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with the Red Sweater
    Friends
    Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.
    TV-PG
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Tells...
    Friends
    The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed. Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with the Videotape
    Friends
    Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Date
    Friends
    Ross is horrified when Rachel goes on a date with a soap-opera star. Phoebe is attracted to a clumsy chef whom Monica wants to fire.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with the Halloween Party
    Friends
    At Monica's Halloween party, Phoebe meets her twin sister's fiance and finds that she is attracted to him.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with the Stain
    Friends
    Rachel wants to find her own apartment. Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric dumps Ursula to date her.
    TV-PG
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Stripper
    Friends
    Rachel tells her belligerent father that she is pregnant with Ross' child.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with the Rumor
    Friends
    Monica encounters a high-school friend and invites him to Thanksgiving Day dinner.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with Monica's Boots
    Friends
    Chandler is angry when Monica buys expensive boots. Phoebe tries to get tickets to a Sting concert.
    TV-PG
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One with the Ross' Step Forward
    Friends
    Ross' new girlfriend orders Christmas cards with a photo of them on the cover.
    TV-PG
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One Where Joey Dates Rachel
    Friends
    Rachel joins Joey for a night out in order to prepare him for a big date.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The Peanut Reaction
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny wants to throw a surprise party for Leonard, but Sheldon's indulgence at an electronics store throws her off-track.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Tangerine Factor
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny's breakup spurs Leonard to summon the courage to ask her out, and they both go to Sheldon for advice on their upcoming date.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Bad Fish Paradigm
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny opens up to a reluctant Sheldon after a less-than-stellar first date with Leonard, placing him in the uncomfortable position of having to keep a secret.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Codpiece Topology
    The Big Bang Theory
    Seeing Penny with another guy sends Leonard back to Leslie Winkle, much to Sheldon's dismay.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Barbarian Sublimation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny becomes addicted to an online game based on the world of Conan the Barbarian and persistently pesters Sheldon for advice.
    TV-PG (DLV)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Griffin Equivalency
    The Big Bang Theory
    Full of confidence following being named one of People's 30 to Watch Under 30, Raj hits on Penny and becomes impossibly arrogant.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Euclid Alternative
    The Big Bang Theory
    An intervention is used to try to force Sheldon to overcome his fear of driving.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and his friends are mystified when a younger undergraduate student is attracted to him.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Panty Pinata Polarization
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Sheldon bans Penny from the apartment for numerous minor infractions, she decides to retaliate. Howard and Raj search for the America's Next Top Model house.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Lizard-Spock Expansion
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon wants to use an alternate version of rock-paper-scissors to help resolve conflicts. A girl Wolowitz has a major crush on falls for Leonard.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:00 am ET
    ?Stoned Thoughts With a Golden Retriever
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Sarah confronts rival animal show host Jack McBrayer who is trying to poach the Stupid Pet Tricks wardrobe stylist. Also, Sarah meets goat twins and their twin owners, an acrobat and her trained fancy rats and a cowboy bulldog.
    TV-14
  • 1:30 am ET
    A Chili Cooking Turtle
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Actor Jon Hamm stops by for a quick visit with his pet turtle, sharing a meal with Sarah. Then, Sarah meets a basketball playing dog, a pig who believes they're a canine, and a heavyweight champion of the world ... Wallaby?
    TV-14
  • 2:00 am ET
    Oedipal Panties
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 2:30 am ET
    Widowmaker
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Red October Sky
    American Dad
    TV-14
  • 3:30 am ET
    Office Spaceman
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
Tuesday, Mar 12

  • 4:00 am ET
    Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 4:30 am ET
    Spring Break-Up
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 5:00 am ET
    1600 Candles
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 5:30 am ET
    The One That Got Away
    American Dad
    TV-14 (D)
  • 6:00 am ET
    One Little Word
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 6:30 am ET
    Choosey Wives Choose Smith
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Escape from Pearl Bailey
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Pulling Double Booty
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 8:00 am ET
    Rock Enroll
    Family Matters
    After performing with his friend at a benefit concert, Eddie announces his plans to pursue a singing career rather than go to college.
    TV-G
  • 8:30 am ET
    Like a Virgin
    Family Matters
    Eddie is humiliated when his friends learn that he is still a virgin.
    TV-G
  • 9:00 am ET
    Good Cop, Bad Cop
    Family Matters
    Eddie is harassed by police officers while driving through a white neighborhood.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Presumed Urkel
    Family Matters
    Laura defends classmate Steve in a student trial when he is accused of blowing up the science laboratory.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Father of the Bride
    Family Matters
    Carl dreams his daughter, Laura, marries Steve Urkel.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    The Psycho Twins
    Family Matters
    Steve invents a sleeping potion that causes serious problems at a professional wrestling match.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    A Clogged Pore, a Little Spanish and the Future
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon struggles with the first signs of puberty while his parents both hunt for new jobs, and Georgie and Meemaw take a business trip across the border.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:30 am ET
    Four Hundred Cartons of Undeclared Cigarettes and a Niblingo
    Young Sheldon
    George Sr. bails Meemaw and Georgie out of jail. Also, Sheldon and Missy meet Mandy, and Mary feels unwelcome at church.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Future Worf and the Margarita of the South Pacific
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon and Missy try to help the family's finances. Also, Mary struggles to find her footing without the church.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A Resident Advisor and the Word 'Sketchy'
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon becomes a dorm RA. Meemaw and Dale make a sketchy business deal. Mary and George Sr. rekindle their romance.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    An Ugly Car, an Affair and Some Kickass Football
    Young Sheldon
    George Sr. is asked to help with the football team. Mandy discovers Georgie and Meemaw's secret business.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    A Tougher Nut and a Note on File
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's search for a comic book leads him to a breakthrough. Also, Georgie and Mandy have an uncomfortable first encounter with her parents, Jim and Audrey.
    TV-PG
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath
    Friends
    Monica blabs her suspicions when she mistakenly believes Joey is infatuated with Phoebe.
    TV-PG
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with the Secret Closet
    Friends
    Joey realizes his intense feelings for Rachel are excluding Ross from the joys of impending fatherhood.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Birthing Video
    Friends
    Monica prepares a memorable St. Valentine's Day for Chandler with sexy lingerie and X-rated entertainment.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One Where Joey Tells Rachel
    Friends
    Joey tells Rachel that he is in love with her.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with the Tea Leaves
    Friends
    Rachel devises a lie about her unborn child that she hopes will break the silence between her and Joey. Phoebe reads tea leaves and predicts she will soon encounter the man of her dreams.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One in Massapequa
    Friends
    Phoebe brings her annoyingly upbeat boyfriend to the 35th anniversary of Monica and Ross' parents, who urge Ross and pregnant Rachel to pretend to be married.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with Joey's Interview
    Friends
    When Soap Opera Digest requests an interview, Joey enlists his friends to make sure he does not say anything that could cost him his role.
    TV-PG
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Baby Shower
    Friends
    During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's offer to move in to help with the child.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with the Cooking Class
    Friends
    A food critic blasts Monica's cooking in a newspaper review. A cute saleswoman riles Rachel when she flirts with Ross, and Phoebe coaches Chandler for a job interview.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Is Late
    Friends
    Overdue Rachel tries everything to rush the delivery of her baby.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Has a Baby: Part 1
    Friends
    The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.
    TV-PG
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Has a Baby: Part 2
    Friends
    The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The White Asparagus Triangulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon is over-exuberant that Leonard finally has a girlfriend matching his high standards.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Vartabedian Conundrum
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard seeks Penny's counsel when his relationship with Stephanie takes off faster than he'd like. Sheldon's hypochondriac tendencies get the better of him.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Bath Item Gift Hypothesis
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon irks the gangs with his obsession with proper Christmas gift protocol. Leonard's crushed when Penny dates a colleague of his.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Killer Robot Instability
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny's criticism of Wolowitz's romantic life pushes him into depression and AWOL for a fighting robot battle the rest of the guys are depending on him for.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Friendship Algorithim
    The Big Bang Theory
    Looking to get friendly with Barry Kripke to gain access to a piece of high-tech lab equipment, Sheldon develops a flowchart process to make friends.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Financial Permeability
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Sheldon loans money to Penny so she can pay her rent, it leads to Leonard coming face-to-face with her ex, Kurt.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Maternal Capacitance
    The Big Bang Theory
    A visit from Leonard's mother ends up bringing him and Penny closer.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Cushion Saturation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Paintball leads to a squabble between Sheldon and Penny as well as romance between Howard and Leslie.
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Terminator Decoupling
    The Big Bang Theory
    The gang is thrilled when they see Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Summer Glau is also aboard their train to San Francisco for a scientific symposium. Sheldon frets over having forgotten a paper he wants to present to George Smoot.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Work Song Nanocluster
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny's business selling hair accessories out of her apartment gets out of hand when an over-caffeinated Sheldon takes charge.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny feels threatened when another sexy woman moves into the apartment building and angered when she senses the guys are being taken advantage of.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Hofstadter Isotope
    The Big Bang Theory
    A fellow comic book enthusiast's hitting on Penny leads to Leonard, Raj and Howard going to a bar's Ladies' Night.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Vegas Renormalization
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard and Raj take Wolowitz to Las Vegas to help him get over his break-up with Leslie. Sheldon, home alone and looking forward to it, locks himself out and has only one other place to stay: Penny's.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 2:30 am ET
    The Classified Materials Turbulence
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard is torn between being honest or self-serving when Stuart asks his advice for an upcoming second date with Penny. Wolowitz realizes there's a crucial error in a toilet he designed for the International Space Station.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 3:00 am ET
    ?Stoned Thoughts With a Golden Retriever
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Sarah confronts rival animal show host Jack McBrayer who is trying to poach the Stupid Pet Tricks wardrobe stylist. Also, Sarah meets goat twins and their twin owners, an acrobat and her trained fancy rats and a cowboy bulldog.
    TV-14
  • 3:30 am ET
    I'm Going To Miss This
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
Wednesday, Mar 13

  • 4:00 am ET
    Finale - Part 1
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
  • 4:30 am ET
    Finale - Part 2
    Modern Family (Season 11)
    TV-PG (L)
  • 5:00 am ET
    Pilot
    Modern Family
    Jay has grown children, grandchildren and a gorgeous young wife, who has a preteen son of her own; all together they must bridge generational, cultural and social gaps.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 5:30 am ET
    The Bicycle Thief
    Modern Family
    Phil is determined to help Luke prove to mom that he is responsible enough to have the brand new bike they just got him. However Phil ends up being the irresponsible one when a hot neighbor clouds his judgment.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 am ET
    Come Fly with Me
    Modern Family
    After some nudging, Jay begrudgingly takes Phil out to fly his new model airplane -- that is until a maneuver goes awry. Meanwhile, when Gloria drops Manny off to play with Luke, she ends up volunteering to take Alex dress shopping.
    TV-PG (V)
  • 6:30 am ET
    The Incident
    Modern Family
    Claire and Mitchell's mother, Dede, drops in for a surprise visit and is determined to make amends with everyone she offended during what has been deemed "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Needless to say, no one is thrilled to see her.
    TV-PG (DLV)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Coal Digger
    Modern Family
    The whole family is invited to Jay and Gloria's for some barbeque and football. However an earlier incident at school between Manny and Luke makes things awkward for Gloria and Claire, and then things escalate when a not-so-flattering label is uttered.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Run for Your Wife
    Modern Family
    It's the first day back at school for the kids and, at the Dunphy house, Phil oversteps when he misreads how Claire is coping with an empty nest.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 am ET
    En Garde
    Modern Family
    The whole family comes out to support Manny's newfound interest - fencing. It turns out he's quite masterful in the sport, but Jay's proud enthusiasm triggers an old childhood wound for Mitchell.
    TV-PG
  • 8:30 am ET
    That's What Friends Are For
    Family Matters
    When Waldo is worried that college will end his friendship with Eddie and Carl is afraid to take the test to become a lieutenant, Eddie and Mother Winslow help them gain self-confidence.
    TV-G
  • 9:00 am ET
    Opposites Attract
    Family Matters
    Laura clashes with an overeager reporter at the school newspaper. Steve is robbed in his home.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    A Camping We Will Go
    Family Matters
    Carl, Eddie and Waldo's camping trip is disrupted when Steve arrives. Harriette impresses a store manager who gives her a job.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Aunt Oona
    Family Matters
    Steve's dowdy Aunt Oona visits and, with Harriette's help, becomes confident enough to win a singing competition.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Nunsense
    Family Matters
    Steve, Eddie and Waldo Faldo dress up as nuns and search for Myra in a convent, where she went after Steve ended their relationship.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Legalese and a Whole Hoo-Ha
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's database invention puts him at odds with the university. Also, the church takes issue with Meemaw's video store.
    TV-PG
  • 11:30 am ET
    College Dropouts and the Medford Miracle
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon considers dropping out of college to focus on building his database. Also, George Sr. is frustrated when someone else gets credit for his football wins.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Pancake Sunday and Textbook Flirting
    Young Sheldon
    Mary struggles to make new friends while Mandy pushes Georgie to date another woman.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    Ruthless, Toothless and a Week of Bed Rest
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon learns the university is building a database without him. Also, Mary takes care of a bedridden Mandy and Meemaw.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    A Frat Party, a Sleepover and the Mother of All Blisters
    Young Sheldon
    Paige drags Sheldon to a college party, and Missy gets caught in a lie.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    Teen Angst and a Smart-Boy Walk of Shame
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon confronts the failure of his database. Georgie and Mandy struggle as new parents. Missy feels forgotten.
    TV-PG
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where No One Proposes
    Friends
    Joey finds himself engaged to Rachel soon after she delivers her baby girl, while Phoebe assumes Ross is the one who proposed.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One Where Emma Cries
    Friends
    Joey seeks forgiveness from Ross, while Rachel tries to quell Emma's incessant crying.
    TV-PG
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Pediatrician
    Friends
    Emma's pediatrician drops her as a patient because of Rachel's constant calls.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with the Sharks
    Friends
    Monica fears Chandler has a sexual fetish involving sharks.
    TV-14 (DS)
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
    Friends
    Famished Phoebe waits for tardy friends to arrive at her birthday dinner.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with the Male Nanny
    Friends
    Ross ridicules Rachel's choice of a male nanny.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song
    Friends
    Chandler and Joey find a videotape while checking out Richard's apartment. Ross sings Emma an off-color lullaby.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Other Sister
    Friends
    Rachel has a bone to pick with her self-centered sister on Thanksgiving.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Phone Number
    Friends
    Rachel impulsively gives her telephone number to a handsome guy but worries he will call when Ross is there.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with Christmas in Tulsa
    Friends
    Monica fears the worst when she learns Chandler will be spending Christmas in Tulsa working on a deadline with a beautiful co-worker.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work
    Friends
    Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement at the shop. Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One with Phoebe's Rats
    Friends
    Monica invites Rachel's workplace rival to her birthday party. Joey flirts with Emma's new nanny, and Phoebe and Mike take care of a litter of rats.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The Monopolar Expedition
    The Big Bang Theory
    The guys receive a prestigious offer to work over the summer at the North Pole, and Penny's resultant behavior leaves Leonard unsure if he should go.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Discovering Leonard, Raj and Howard fudged the results of his Arctic research expedition, a disgraced Sheldon heads home to Texas.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Jiminy Conjecture
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Howard wager comic books over a cricket's species. Meanwhile, a less-than-perfect romantic night agonizes Leonard and Penny.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Gothowitz Deviation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard takes Raj along to check out the Goth dating scene. Sheldon uses chocolate as part of a behavior modification experiment on Penny.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Pirate Solution
    The Big Bang Theory
    Facing a return to India, Raj needs a job desperately enough to consider working for Sheldon. Meanwhile, Howard becomes a third wheel to Leonard and Penny.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon looks forward to squaring off against an actor from the Star Trek universe he holds enmity towards in a fantasy card game tournament. Wolowitz cashes in on an old pact with Leonard to get Penny to set him up with a friend of hers.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Cornhusker Vortex
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard, hoping to fit in with Penny's football-loving friends, gets tutored in the sport by Sheldon. Raj is infuriated when Wolowitz's skirt-chasing leads to the loss of his prized patang.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Guitarist Amplification
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard and Penny's first big fight sees Sheldon playing mediator due to childhood trauma that's left him with an inability to be around loud verbal conflicts.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    Ep. 232 - Dynamite 3/13/2024
    All Elite Wrestling: Dynamite
    All Elite Wrestling continues to inject new spirit, freshness, and energy into to mainstream wrestling featuring a world-class roster of diverse male and female wrestlers.
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 2:00 am ET
    Great Expectations
    Modern Family
    With a history of giving bad gifts, Claire is determined to surprise Phil with an amazing anniversary present - a private performance by one of their favorite musicians, Izzy LaFontaine! However, it turns out to be a surprise in more ways than one.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 2:30 am ET
    Fizbo
    Modern Family
    Nothing is too big when Phil and Claire decide to throw Luke the biggest and best birthday party a boy could ever want. But when Cameron shows up as Fizbo, the Clown, it sets of a chain of events that ends with someone in the hospital.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Undeck the Halls
    Modern Family
    Christmas is in full swing at the Dunphy house until the kids get in some trouble and Phil and Claire threaten to take away Christmas until one of them fesses up. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 3:30 am ET
    Up All Night
    Modern Family
    Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad. Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen.
    TV-PG (L)
Thursday, Mar 14

  • 4:00 am ET
    Not in My House
    Modern Family
    When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 4:30 am ET
    Fifteen Percent
    Modern Family
    Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies, Shorty, might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second ... except for all the questionable signs he now keeps noticing. Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 5:00 am ET
    Moon Landing
    Modern Family
    Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie (guest star Minnie Driver), visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 5:30 am ET
    My Funky Valentine
    Modern Family
    Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 6:00 am ET
    Fears
    Modern Family
    When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him. Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 6:30 am ET
    Truth Be Told
    Modern Family
    After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend (guest star Judy Greer) to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble. Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Starry Night
    Modern Family
    Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Game Changer
    Modern Family
    It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:00 am ET
    Stefan Returns
    Family Matters
    Laura encourages nerdy Steve to create a new, improved potion to transform himself into his suave alter ego again, this time without the obnoxious side effects.
    TV-G
  • 8:30 am ET
    Cheers Looking at You Kid
    Family Matters
    Laura enjoys her independence when her parents allow her to fly to a cheerleading competition alone, but she must also decide what to do when a guy she likes visits her in her hotel room.
    TV-G
  • 9:00 am ET
    To Be or Not to Be Part 1
    Family Matters
    Steve Urkel comes to the conclusion that he wants to transform into his suave alter-ego Stephan Urquelle forever. Carl also decides to undergo a transformation so he will not have to wear eye glasses.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    To Be or Not to Be Part 2
    Family Matters
    Carl and Urkel enter the transformation chamber and Urkel is transformed into the suave Stefan, while Carl evolves into a nerd.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Till Death Do Us Apartment
    Family Matters
    Eddie tries the bachelor life when he moves out of his parents' house and goes away to college. Urkel tries to console Eddie's parents in the wake of his departure.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    The Looney Bin
    Family Matters
    Urkel and Carl get locked in the school bomb shelter after they discover Mr. Looney, the school custodian, is homeless and has been living there.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    A Stolen Truck and Going on the Lam
    Young Sheldon
    Missy steals her dad's truck and hits the road with her friend Paige.
    TV-PG
  • 11:30 am ET
    A German Folk Song and an Actual Adult
    Young Sheldon
    Georgie goes on a birthday date, and Mary confronts Brenda about her relationship with George. Also, Sheldon takes an interest in Missy's favorite TV show.
    TV-PG
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Little Green Men and a Fella's Marriage Proposal
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon wants to search for life on other planets, and Mandy answers Georgie's marriage proposal. Also, Missy is caught between two friends.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A New Weather Girl and a Stay-at-Home Coddler
    Young Sheldon
    Mandy gets an exciting job opportunity, and Sheldon worries that he's falling behind. Also, Georgie takes his daughter to work.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    German for Beginners and a Crazy Old Man with a Bat
    Young Sheldon
    The gambling room gets broken into, and Sheldon wants to study abroad. Also, Missy makes a new friend.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    Pilot
    Young Sheldon
    Meet 9-year-old Sheldon and his family on the series premiere! Sheldon learns that his high intelligence isn't always helpful growing up in East Texas, where church and football are king.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where Monica Sings
    Friends
    Monica exults in the applause she receives on karaoke night, unaware that the cheering audience can see through her blouse.
    TV-PG
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with the Blind Dates
    Friends
    Joey and Phoebe conspire to send Rachel and Ross on disastrous blind dates.
    TV-14
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Mugging
    Friends
    Joey stumbles upon a way to impress a famous actor during an audition. Ross learns the identity of a long-ago mugger, and Chandler accepts an internship at a shoe company.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One with the Boob Job
    Friends
    Both Monica and Chandler secretly approach Joey for a loan. Phoebe invites Mike to move in with her, and Rachel baby-proofs the apartment.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with the Memorial Service
    Friends
    Ross and Chandler trade barbed insults on their alma mater's Web site.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with the Lottery
    Friends
    The gang buys scads of lottery tickets for the multimillion-dollar jackpot.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Dream
    Friends
    Rachel's visit to a soap opera set inspires her to dream about Joey. Chandler takes Ross on a weekend getaway after Monica cannot take time off from work.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Soap Opera Party
    Friends
    Ross invites an attractive paleontologist to a rooftop Days of Our Lives party being thrown by Joey.
    TV-PG (S)
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with the Fertility Test
    Friends
    Monica and Chandler run into an old acquaintance when they secretly go to a fertility clinic. Ross helps Joey woo the same professor he wants to date.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with the Donor
    Friends
    Monica and Chandler interview unsuspecting candidates, hoping to find the right man to father their baby.
    TV-PG
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One in Barbados, Part 1
    Friends
    The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker. David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One in Barbados Part 2
    Friends
    The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.
    TV-PG (DS)
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The Adhesive Duck Deficiency
    The Big Bang Theory
    With the rest of the gang off on a desert camping trip to view the Leonid meteor shower, Sheldon must play hero after Penny slips in the tub and dislocates her shoulder.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Vengeance Formulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Barry Kripke pranks Sheldon during his spot on NPR, leaving him with a taste for vengeance. Wolowitz, pressured by Bernadette to define their relationship, gets advice from a fantasy version of Katee Sackhoff.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Gorilla Experiment
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny seeks Sheldon's help to better comprehend Leonard's physics work. Wolowitz sees green when Leonard invites Bernadette to watch an experiment.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Maternal Congruence
    The Big Bang Theory
    A Christmas visit from his mother has Leonard discovering she's kept a lot of news from him that she shares with Sheldon and worrying if she'll approve of his romance with Penny.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Psychic Vortex
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard is aghast to find out a secret of Penny's: she believes in psychics. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to assist Koothrappali in picking up a girl at a university party.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Bozeman Reaction
    The Big Bang Theory
    A robbery of their apartment sees Leonard and Sheldon call on their friends to devise a security system.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Einstein Approximation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Stuck on the solution to a physics problem, Sheldon seeks a number of alternative approaches to change his thinking and free the mental block -- including working with Penny at The Cheesecake Factory.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Large Hadron Collision
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Leonard is offered a trip to Switzerland on Valentine's Day to see a particle accelerator, he must choose between taking Penny or Sheldon.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Excelsior Acquisition
    The Big Bang Theory
    An appearance in traffic court comes at the worst possible time for Sheldon, the same day Stan Lee is appearing at the comic book store.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Precious Fragmentation
    The Big Bang Theory
    The guys go to a garage sale and find a ring from the Lord of the Rings films, and the rare find threatens their friendship.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Pants Alternative
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon's fear of speaking in front of large groups threatens his ability to accept an award, so the gang tries to help him get ready for the big night.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Wheaton Recurrence
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon gets to square off at the bowling alley against nemesis Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Leonard's miffed when Penny doesn't respond the way he hoped after saying "I love you."
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 2:00 am ET
    Bobby Moynihan
    Impractical Jokers
    Three comedians and lifelong friends compete to embarrass each other amongst the general public with a series of hilarious and outrageous dares.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 2:30 am ET
    Hitch
    Smooth-talking Alex "Hitch" Hitchens is a legendary "date doctor" who helps clueless clients make a great first impression. When a gossip reporter starts nosing around his business, however, Hitch has to figure out a whole new strategy to love.
    TV-14 (L)
Friday, Mar 15

  • 4:45 am ET
    Just Wright
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 7:00 am ET
    Benched
    Modern Family
    When Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits in the middle of a game, Jay and Phil both jockey to fill the position. Claire and Gloria each struggle with the realization that they might not be number one in their children's lives anymore.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 7:30 am ET
    Travels with Scout
    Modern Family
    Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:00 am ET
    Wedding Bell Blues
    Family Matters
    Mr. Looney is jilted on his wedding day. Laura complains that her mother treats her differently than Eddie.
    TV-G
  • 8:30 am ET
    Ain't Nothin' But an Urkel
    Family Matters
    Steve accidentally transforms himself into Elvis Presley. While they are counseling a young couple about marriage, Carl and Harriette get into an argument.
    TV-G
  • 9:00 am ET
    Beta Chi Guy
    Family Matters
    Eddie pledges a fraternity and hosts a party in his apartment. The event is successful until the arrival of Urkel, who offends the party-goers with his socially inept antics.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Dark and Stormy Night
    Family Matters
    In a ghost story that the Winslow family invents during a power outage on Halloween, Carl and Harriette play vampires living in a castle.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Par for the Course
    Family Matters
    Carl thinks Urkel is schmoozing Carl's boss.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Sink or Swim
    Family Matters
    Carl must teach Steve to swim, or Steve won't be able to graduate from high school. Rachel gets into a fight with Harriette when she tries to return a dress to the store in customer service.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Rockets, Communists and the Dewey Decimal System
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon goes on a quest to make his first friend.
    TV-PG
  • 11:30 am ET
    Poker, Faith and Eggs
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's faith is shaken when his dad goes to the hospital.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    A Therapist, a Comic Book and a Breakfast Sausage
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon refuses to eat solid food after a choking scare.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    A Solar Calculator, a Game Ball and a Cheerleader's Bosom
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon helps his father coach the football team.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    A Patch, a Modem and a Zantac
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon is determined to prove a NASA rep wrong.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    A Brisket, Voodoo and Cannonball Run
    Young Sheldon
    Meemaw refuses to give George Sr. her brisket recipe.
    TV-PG (LS)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One Where Ross Is Fine
    Friends
    Ross drinks too much alcohol at dinner with Rachel, Joey and Charlie. Frank Jr. cannot cope with his precocious triplets.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with Ross's Tan
    Friends
    Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date. Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend with a fake British accent, and Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the Cake
    Friends
    An X-rated cake is delivered to Emma's first birthday party.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits
    Friends
    Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests, and Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with Ross's Grant
    Friends
    When Ross interviews with Charlie's ex-boyfriend for a prized grant, the doctor makes a shocking stipulation.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with the Home Study
    Friends
    Monica and Chandler fuss over their apartment as they expect a visit from the adoption worker. Phoebe and Mike opt for a small wedding and donate the extra money to a children's charity.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with the Late Thanksgiving
    Friends
    Monica prepares a Thanksgiving feast for the gang, then becomes enraged when everyone shows up late. Phoebe convinces Rachel to enter Emma in a baby beauty contest.
    TV-PG
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Birth Mother
    Friends
    A prospective birth mother labors under a misconception about Monica and Chandler's respective occupations.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One Where Chandler Gets Caught
    Friends
    Rachel and Phoebe spot Chandler getting into a vehicle with a mysterious blond woman.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One Where the Stripper Cries
    Friends
    Joey appears as a celebrity contestant on $100,000 Pyramid. Monica and Rachel hire an ungainly stripper for Phoebe's bachelorette party.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One with Phoebe's Wedding
    Friends
    A blizzard causes Phoebe and Mike's wedding to spiral out of control. Uptight Monica steps in as her friend's wedding planner, then drives everyone crazy.
    TV-PG
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One Where Joey Speaks French
    Friends
    Monica and Chandler show Erica the sights but also learn their baby's biological father might be an unsavory character. Joey begs Phoebe to teach him how to speak French before an audition.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The Staircase Implementation
    The Big Bang Theory
    A squabble over the thermostat setting leads to Leonard going over to Penny's and recounting for her the story of how he met and moved in with Sheldon.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Lunar Excitation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard and Raj try to find the perfect match for Sheldon by setting him up on an Internet dating site. Seeing her new boyfriend interact with the gang makes it clear to Penny that she can't go back to dating dumb jocks after dating Leonard.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Robotic Manipulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard uses a robotic arm for his own pleasure. Sheldon goes on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler, his first date ever, and Penny finds herself accompanying them.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon calculates that he'll be dead before technology exists to download his consciousness into a robot, so he goes on a binge of healthy living and ultra-safety.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Zazzy Substitution
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon breaks up with Amy Farrah Fowler, and the guys worry when he starts replacing her with cats.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Hot Troll Deviation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Wolowitz is embarrassed when a secret of his is revealed, and Sheldon and Raj battle at work.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Desperation Emanation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon meets Amy Farrah Fowler's mother and comes to the realization he no longer wants to see Amy, and Leonard realizes everyone is in a relationship except for him.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Irish Pub Formulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    When Raj's sister has a one-day layover, he forbids the others from hooking up with her, unaware she and Leonard already did long ago.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 12:00 am ET
    Blade
    A half-mortal, half-immortal is out to avenge his mother's death and rid the world of vampires. The technologically advanced vampires he is going after are in search of his special blood type needed to summon an evil god.
    TV-14 (LV)
  • 1:54 am ET
    Blade II
    TV-14 (LV)
  • 3:54 am ET
    Blade: Trinity
    No Rating Available
Saturday, Mar 16

  • 6:27 am ET
    Blade
    A half-mortal, half-immortal is out to avenge his mother's death and rid the world of vampires. The technologically advanced vampires he is going after are in search of his special blood type needed to summon an evil god.
    TV-14 (LV)
  • 8:30 am ET
    Paradise Bluff
    Family Matters
    Myra and Laura both compete for Urkel's affection. Meanwhile, Carl thinks his wife, Harriette, is dissatisfied with their sex life.
    TV-G
  • 9:00 am ET
    Flying Blind
    Family Matters
    Urkel and Carl share a chartered airplane, when Carl realizes the pilot is a vindictive ex-convict whom he helped put in prison.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    Miracle on Elm Street
    Family Matters
    In this Christmas episode, Richie invites a homeless man who claims to be Santa Claus to dinner. Steve searches through tons of garbage to find a special present for Laura.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Airport 2010
    Modern Family
    For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along.
    TV-PG
  • 10:30 am ET
    Hawaii
    Modern Family
    Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 11:00 am ET
    Family Portrait
    Modern Family
    Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:30 am ET
    The Old Wagon
    Modern Family
    Claire finally gets Phil to agree to sell their old station wagon, but not before everyone has to take it on one last ride down memory lane. Meanwhile, when a haphazard hammer-wielding Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    The Kiss
    Modern Family
    In honor of her late grandmother, Gloria decides to cook more traditional Colombian meals, which is met with some ribbing from Jay -- but see who gets the last laugh. Meanwhile Claire finds herself becoming the overbearing mom.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    The One with Princess Consuela
    Friends
    Rachel goes to a job interview at a restaurant and winds up sitting next to her current boss. Joey feels abandoned because Monica and Chandler are leaving.
    TV-PG
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The One Where Estelle Dies
    Friends
    Ross tries to win back Rachel's job with her former fashion employer. Phoebe tries to keep Joey from learning about his agent's death, and Monica and Chandler make a horrifying discovery.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 1:30 pm ET
    The One with Rachel's Going Away Party
    Friends
    One of the guys becomes offended when Rachel does not give him the same goodbye she gives the others.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The Last One: Part 1
    Friends
    The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The Last One: Part 2
    Friends
    The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
    TV-PG (D)
  • 3:00 pm ET
    Click
    A workaholic architect finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life.
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 5:15 pm ET
    Shallow Hal
    Meet Hal Larsen, the ultimate shallow guy. The first thing he looks for in a woman is, well, looks, but after hypnosis by self-help guru Tony Robbins, Hal's view of women makes a 180-degree turn: he now sees their true inner beauty.
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    21 Jump Street
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 9:45 pm ET
    22 Jump Street
    Big changes are in store for officers Schmidt and Jenko as they go deep undercover at a local college in pursuit of finding a group of drug dealers. Together, they infiltrate the "bohemian art" major scene, and learn how to behave like adults.
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Apology Insufficiency
    The Big Bang Theory
    The rest of the gang is interviewed by the FBI for Wolowitz's security clearance with Sheldon accidentally letting slip some damaging information.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The 21-Second Excitation
    The Big Bang Theory
    The guys camp out in line to see a print of Raiders of the Lost Ark with 21 extra seconds and are outraged to see Wil Wheaton and his friends being allowed to skip the line. Penny and Bernadette invite Amy to their girls night.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Boyfriend Complexity
    The Big Bang Theory
    Penny asks Leonard to lie to her visiting father, while Howard, Raj and Bernadette spend all night looking through a telescope.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Alien Parasite Hypothesis
    The Big Bang Theory
    Amy crushes on one of Penny's dim ex-boyfriends, Zack. Raj and Wolowitz argue over who'd be the better superhero.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 2:00 am ET
    21 Jump Street
    TV-14 (DLV)
Sunday, Mar 17

  • 4:15 am ET
    22 Jump Street
    Big changes are in store for officers Schmidt and Jenko as they go deep undercover at a local college in pursuit of finding a group of drug dealers. Together, they infiltrate the "bohemian art" major scene, and learn how to behave like adults.
    TV-14 (DLV)
  • 6:30 am ET
    Shallow Hal
    Meet Hal Larsen, the ultimate shallow guy. The first thing he looks for in a woman is, well, looks, but after hypnosis by self-help guru Tony Robbins, Hal's view of women makes a 180-degree turn: he now sees their true inner beauty.
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 9:00 am ET
    Midterm Crisis
    Family Matters
    After Waldo complains to Eddie about borrowing his possessions, Urkel and Eddie eat Waldo's cake he baked for a class project. They try to bake another cake and miserably fail.
    TV-G
  • 9:30 am ET
    An Unlikely Match
    Family Matters
    Urkel organizes a blood drive for a bully who has leukemia. Carl enrages Harriette by buying cheap living room furniture at a police auction.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    Earthquake
    Modern Family
    An earthquake hits, leaving Claire stuck in the bathroom with the plumber, Manny experiencing an existential crisis while out with Jay, and Mitchell and Cameron digging themselves deeper into a lie.
    TV-PG
  • 10:30 am ET
    Strangers On a Treadmill
    Modern Family
    Claire and Mitchell enlist each other's help in trying to spare their significant others from embarrassment - Cameron from his unfortunate wardrobe choices, and Phil from his joke-ridden speech for the realtors' banquet.
    TV-PG
  • 11:00 am ET
    Unplugged
    Modern Family
    Noticing that everyone is too busy on their electronic devices to actually interact with one another, Claire and Phil declare a family challenge to see who can stay unplugged the longest.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:30 am ET
    Halloween
    Modern Family
    Claire loves Halloween and is gearing up to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters. She gives each family member a role to play, but none of it goes quite right ... Cameron can't shake a traumatic childhood experience and hates the holiday.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    Chirp
    Modern Family
    Claire and Haley have a bit of quality girl time while they're stuck at home sick, and Phil is preoccupied by the taunts of a chirping smoke detector. Gloria and Manny's surprise visit at Jay's work leads to headaches for Jay.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:30 pm ET
    Manny Get Your Gun
    Modern Family
    Everyone's gathering to celebrate Manny's birthday, though Manny himself is having a mini-life crisis about getting older. Meanwhile, Phil and Claire engage in a not-so-friendly car race, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop to pick up a gift.
    TV-PG (V)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate
    Friends
    After Rachel leaves her fiance at the altar, she moves in with Monica and finds that independence is not so easy, particularly without Daddy's credit cards.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    The One with the Sonogram
    Friends
    Ross is stunned to learn his ex-wife is pregnant with their child. Monica's dinner for her overly critical parents is a disaster.
    TV-PG
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One with the Thumb
    Friends
    The group loves Monica's new boyfriend. Chandler resumes smoking, and Phoebe receives a large sum of money unexpectedly.
    TV-PG
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with George Stephanopoulos
    Friends
    While the men attend a hockey game and end up at a hospital, the women spy on President Clinton's top aide, George Stephanopoulos, who lives across the street. Rachel receives her first paycheck.
    TV-PG
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One with the East German Laundry Detergent
    Friends
    While Phoebe and Chandler end their respective romantic relationships, Rachel and Ross do laundry together on their first date.
    TV-PG
  • 3:30 pm ET
    Maid in Manhattan
    A senatorial candidate falls for a hotel maid whom he mistakes for a socialite in this glossy Cinderella story rom-com.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The Ugly Truth
    A romantically challenged morning show producer is in for a rude awakening when her bosses team her with a hardcore TV personality who promises to spill the ugly truth on what makes men and women tick.
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 7:30 pm ET
    Hitch
    Smooth-talking Alex "Hitch" Hitchens is a legendary "date doctor" who helps clueless clients make a great first impression. When a gossip reporter starts nosing around his business, however, Hitch has to figure out a whole new strategy to love.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    Crazy Rich Asians
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Justice League Recombination
    The Big Bang Theory
    The guys get Zack and Penny to join their Justice League costume for a New Year's Eve bash at the comic book store.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Bus Pants Utilization
    The Big Bang Theory
    Their friendship becomes strained when Sheldon tries to take over Leonard's creation of a smartphone application that solves differential equations.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    The Love Car Displacement
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard is jealous when Bernadette runs into her old boyfriend at a science event they're attending.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:30 am ET
    The Thespian Catalyst
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon wants acting lessons from Penny, hoping they will make him a better teacher.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 2:00 am ET
    The Benefactor Factor
    The Big Bang Theory
    After meeting at a fundraising gala, an aged but wealthy Caltech donor makes Leonard ponder if he's willing to have sex with her to secure another donation.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 2:30 am ET
    The Greatest Showman
    TV-PG (LV)
Monday, Mar 18

  • 4:45 am ET
    Crazy Rich Asians
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 7:15 am ET
    Hitch
    Smooth-talking Alex "Hitch" Hitchens is a legendary "date doctor" who helps clueless clients make a great first impression. When a gossip reporter starts nosing around his business, however, Hitch has to figure out a whole new strategy to love.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 9:30 am ET
    The Substitute Son
    Family Matters
    Eddie neglects Carl so Waldo tries to be a son to Carl. Steve transforms himself into a martial arts expert to defend Laura's honor.
    TV-G
  • 10:00 am ET
    The Gun
    Family Matters
    After she is robbed, Laura considers getting a gun, but the Winslows organize a gun turn-in program instead.
    TV-G
  • 10:30 am ET
    Wedding Bell Blues
    Family Matters
    Mr. Looney is jilted on his wedding day. Laura complains that her mother treats her differently than Eddie.
    TV-G
  • 11:00 am ET
    Cape Canaveral, Schrodinger's Cat and Cyndi Lauper's Hair
    Young Sheldon
    George takes his sons to see a space shuttle launch.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 11:30 am ET
    Spock, Kirk and Testicular Hernia
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon tutors his brother when his grades threaten football.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 12:00 pm ET
    An Eagle Feather, a String Bean and an Eskimo
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon interviews with a school for gifted children.
    TV-PG
  • 12:30 pm ET
    Demons, Sunday School and Prime Numbers
    Young Sheldon
    A trip to Sunday school inspires Sheldon to study religions.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 1:00 pm ET
    A Computer, a Plastic Pony and a Case of Beer
    Young Sheldon
    Mary and the twins move in with Meemaw after a fight.
    TV-PG
  • 1:30 pm ET
    A Sneeze, Detention and Sissy Spacek
    Young Sheldon
    Sheldon's germophobia lands him in detention.
    TV-PG (L)
  • 2:00 pm ET
    The One with the Butt
    Friends
    Joey gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino's butt. Ross tries to be less conservative. Chandler has an affair with a married woman.
    TV-14 (S)
  • 2:30 pm ET
    The One with the Blackout
    Friends
    A citywide power outage leaves Chandler stranded in the vestibule for an automatic banking machine with gorgeous model Jill Connick. Ross tries to ask Rachel out on a date. Joey learns Monica used to be infatuated with him.
    TV-PG
  • 3:00 pm ET
    The One Where Nana Dies Twice
    Friends
    When Ross and Monica's grandmother dies, the whole gang attends the funeral service. Chandler questions his sexual persona when a co-worker wants to arrange a date for him with another guy.
    TV-14
  • 3:30 pm ET
    The One Where Underdog Gets Away
    Friends
    Monica intends to host a cozy Thanksgiving feast in her apartment with her friends but her plans go awry, and the feast becomes a fiasco.
    TV-PG
  • 4:00 pm ET
    The One with the Monkey
    Friends
    The friends promise to celebrate New Year's Eve without dates but soon all their plans change. Ross gets a pet monkey.
    TV-PG
  • 4:30 pm ET
    The One with Mrs. Bing
    Friends
    Chandler's flamboyant mother comes to New York for a visit. Phoebe and Monica cause a traffic accident.
    TV-PG
  • 5:00 pm ET
    The One with the Dozen Lasagnas
    Friends
    Rachel's Italian boyfriend tries to seduce Phoebe. Rachel accidentally reveals a secret to Ross. Monica's aunt refuses to take the lasagnas she ordered from Monica.
    TV-PG
  • 5:30 pm ET
    The One with the Boobies
    Friends
    Chandler sees Rachel nude. Joey learns his father is having an affair.
    TV-PG
  • 6:00 pm ET
    The One with the Candy Hearts
    Friends
    On Valentine's Day, Ross meets his ex-wife while on his first date in nine years. The girls rebel by burning mementos of past relationships.
    TV-PG
  • 6:30 pm ET
    The One with the Stoned Guy
    Friends
    A restaurant owner interviews Monica for a chef's position. Ross asks Joey how to talk dirty to women.
    TV-14
  • 7:00 pm ET
    The One with Two Parts: Part 1
    Friends
    Phoebe's twin sister causes confusion and conflict. Ross attends childbirth classes with his ex-wife and her girlfriend.
    TV-PG
  • 7:30 pm ET
    The One with Two Parts: Part 2
    Friends
    Rachel and Monica squabble over two handsome doctors. Ross ponders his impending fatherhood with his own father.
    TV-PG
  • 8:00 pm ET
    The Cohabitation Formulation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Howard contemplates a serious decision in his relationship with Bernadette, and Leonard and Raj's sister start seeing each other again.
    TV-PG (DL)
  • 8:30 pm ET
    The Toast Derivation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon is in a crisis when he realizes he's not the epicenter of the group, so he decides to find new friends.
    TV-14 (D)
  • 9:00 pm ET
    The Prestidigitation Approximation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Leonard has a tough choice to make when Priya asks him to stop spending time with Penny, forcing him to choose between the two women, and Howard keeps pestering Sheldon with a magic trick.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 9:30 pm ET
    The Zarnecki Incursion
    The Big Bang Theory
    The guys become sleuths to find out who hacked Sheldon's online-game account.
    TV-14 (L)
  • 10:00 pm ET
    The Herb Garden Germination
    The Big Bang Theory
    Sheldon and Amy decide to start rumors about themselves as a social test. Meanwhile, Howard takes his relationship with Bernadette to an even higher level.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 10:30 pm ET
    The Agreement Dissection
    The Big Bang Theory
    Priya uses her legal expertise to rip apart Sheldon's roommate agreement, and the women take the flustered Sheldon out dancing.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:00 pm ET
    The Wildebeest Implementation
    The Big Bang Theory
    Raj makes an attempt to cure his phobia of talking to women, and Penny spies on Leonard and Priya with the help of Bernadette.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 11:30 pm ET
    The Engagement Reaction
    The Big Bang Theory
    Mrs. Wolowitz ends up in the hospital after Howard tells her he's marrying Bernadette. While there, Leonard stresses over Penny and Priya warming up to one another.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 12:00 am ET
    The Roommate Transmogrification
    The Big Bang Theory
    Raj moves in with Sheldon when Leonard and Priya's Star Trek bedroom fantasy is too much for him, and the guys tease Howard when Bernadette gets her PhD, making Howard the only one without a doctorate.
    TV-PG (DLS)
  • 12:30 am ET
    The Skank Reflex Analysis
    The Big Bang Theory
    On the fifth season premiere, Penny worries that she's screwed things up permanently with her friends after her night with Raj, while Sheldon takes command of the paintball team.
    TV-14 (DL)
  • 1:00 am ET
    Cats for a Better Tomorrow
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Comedian and Musician Reggie Watts stops by with his pet fish to share a few movie reviews with Sarah. Also, Sarah meets a spider who can understand Yiddish, a painting pig and a dog and his owner who can parkour and flood the set with oohs and "awws."
    TV-14
  • 1:30 am ET
    ?Stoned Thoughts With a Golden Retriever
    Stupid Pet Tricks
    Sarah confronts rival animal show host Jack McBrayer who is trying to poach the Stupid Pet Tricks wardrobe stylist. Also, Sarah meets goat twins and their twin owners, an acrobat and her trained fancy rats and a cowboy bulldog.
    TV-14
  • 2:00 am ET
    Phantom of the Telethon
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 2:30 am ET
    Chimdale
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLS)
  • 3:00 am ET
    Stan Time
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DLSV)
  • 3:30 am ET
    Family Affair
    American Dad
    TV-14 (DL)
Tuesday, Mar 19

  • 4:00 am ET
    Live and Let Fry
    American Dad
    TV-14 (D)